Survivors who are Men

Barriers to Seeking Services

There are many myths in our society are that men cannot be victims of sexual violence or relationship violence. This misconception can contribute to increased emotional pain, guilt or shame surrounding men's experiences of interpersonal violence, and leaves many men feeling very alone and not able to seek support. CARE wants all men who are survivors to know that you do not need to feel alone we are here to support you, and in whatever ways are best for you. 

Some men may feel confused after being sexually assaulted if they became sexually aroused, had an erection, experienced an orgasm, or ejaculated during the assault. A survivor may feel confused about whether it was rape, or whether those physiological reactions proved consent. But a person's normal, involuntary, physiological reactions do not mean that they wanted to be raped or sexually assaulted or that they enjoyed this traumatic event. The sexual arousal of any survivor during an assault does not mean that consent was given.

Sexual Identity and Survivorship

Men who are assaulted by men, can develop confusion or questions about their own sexuality after their assault. CARE wants to remind survivors that your sexual assault has nothing to do with your sexual orientation-- past, present, or future. But if your assault has brought questions about your sexual identity, we are here to listen and assist you in this self-discovery as well. 

For gay/bi/queer/pansexual/trans men, sexual assault can lead to feelings of self-blame and self-loathing attached to their sexuality. Being sexually assaulted may lead a gay/bi/queer/pansexual/trans man to believe he somehow "deserved it," that he was "paying the price" for his sexual orientation. It's important to remember that sexual assault is an act of violence, power, and control. No one deserves to be sexually assaulted, ever.

CARE's Partnership with the RCSGD

CARE works closely with the Resource Gender for Sexual and Gender Diversity (RCSGD) and participates in continuing education to continuously improve our services and be as identity-affirming and supportive as we can be. CARE understands that experiences of interpersonal violence can feel isolating or lead to feeling unsafe, particularly when the survivor and perpetrator of the violence are both in the same community, social circle, or student organizations. CARE is here to help survivors navigate these circumstances as well.

RCSGD Confidential Resource

Beginning in Fall 2020, the Resource Center for Sexual and Gender Diversity is excited to be the site of an additional confidential resource for UCSB students, faculty, and staff. Quinn Solis, RCSGD Associate Director | they.them.theirs, will be serving as a Title IX Advocacy Liaison. In this role, Quinn is able to provide support to members of the campus community who have experienced sexual violence and/or sexual harassment (SVSH). Quinn will no longer be a Responsible Employee under the UC Sexual Violence and Sexual Harassment Policy, which means that students and others can freely disclose their experiences to Quinn, learn about their options, and be connected to various resources across campus. 

Importance of Location

CARE has two locations: one in the Student Resource Building (SRB), on the 2nd Floor closest to Pardall Tunnel in Room 2145, and the other in the Gaucho Support Center in Isla Vista, near Embarcadero Hall. CARE wants all survivors to feel empowered to ask for their appointment to be located at whichever office fits best with their needs and feelings of safety and stability.